The Comeback Chronicles Podcast
Welcome to The Comeback Chronicles, where raw truth meets unwavering resilience. Hosted by Terry L. Fossum, this podcast reveals the untold stories of remarkable individuals who’ve faced crushing defeats—only to rise stronger, wiser, and more determined.
Through candid interviews, you’ll hear about moments of failure, heartbreak, and doubt, as well as the transformational steps that led to victory. This isn’t just about inspiration—it’s about equipping you with actionable strategies, like Terry’s signature ‘Oxcart Technique,’ to overcome challenges and ignite your own comeback story.
If you’re ready to break free from fear, shame, or self-doubt and move boldly into your conquer zone, The Comeback Chronicles will empower you with the tools, mindset, and motivation to rise above and achieve your next great success.
Get ready to turn your setbacks into stepping stones and reclaim the life you’re destined to lead.
The Comeback Chronicles Podcast
Bolt #2: Breaking the Chains of Excuses
Excuses are masters at convincing us that something untrue is true, acting as a form of brainwashing that keeps us from reaching our goals. Success doesn't care what your excuse is—there are only two things: results or excuses.
• Growing up in McAllen, Texas, America's poorest city, with traumatic experiences including staring down the barrel of an assault rifle at age 14
• Losing his father in a plane crash during high school and being told he would never amount to anything
• Setting "absolutes" instead of goals—commitments you fulfill no matter what circumstances arise
• The inspiring story of Davis summiting Eagle Cap Mountain despite severe dehydration and vomiting blood
• Successful people see themselves having control over circumstances while unsuccessful people believe circumstances control them
• Hard doesn't mean impossible—hard means it's possible
• Top 10 excuses people use and why each one fails: "they ruined my life," "I have the worst luck," "things just didn't work out," etc.
• The transformative mantra: "There's always a way. It merely becomes our job to find that way"
• Taking action by identifying what got in your way before and creating solutions to overcome those obstacles
If you're ready to get over your fears, self-doubts and past failures and break through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, head over to terrylfossum.com to pick up your free gifts and so much more.
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past failures and you're ready to break through your comfort zones to finally reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, then this podcast is for you. Here's your host, Terry L Fossum.
Speaker 2:The second bolt we're going to blow is excuses. You're going to learn to identify the excuses that have held you back in the past and see them for what they really are they're merely excuses. And if it's not a result, it's merely an excuse. You'll hear my top 10 list on ways that we try to blame our troubles on something or someone else and what to do about it. You're not going to allow excuses to brainwash you anymore into believing it can't be done. Why? Because you're going to do it. You're going to blow this bolt. So let's get started.
Speaker 2:You may have heard of my background. I was raised in literally the poorest city in the entire United States of America, a small Texas-Mexico border town by the name of McAllen, texas. Now you've almost certainly heard of McAllen, texas If you've watched the news and heard all about the border crossings and everything going on down there. You've heard of McAllen. Now, before you go, oh how terrible. Know this. I love my hometown. I really do. In my opinion, the people are great there, the weather's warm pretty much year round and the food is off the charts, but it could be a little rough growing up there sometime with all the gangs and the drugs. In fact I'll never forget one night when I was in middle school, I was in my backyard that warm evening and I heard a noise in my back alley. Now, if you're from my neighborhood and you hear a sound, you check it out. So I jumped over the back fence with all the bluster of a 14-year-old boy. Now understand, that's a really, really bad idea. You don't want to be in my back alley at night. But it got worse. It got worse when, all of a sudden, these headlights hit me. Now that's bad, because headlights of course means a car. A car probably means an adult. An adult in my back alley probably means a drug deal going down or a robbery or something much worse, none of which they want a 14-year-old witness to. And there I was, completely exposed in the headlights. Now that's bad. But it got worse. In fact it got a whole lot worse. It got a lot worse when the guy walked out in front of those headlights with an assault rifle and aimed it right at me.
Speaker 2:Now, imagine that for a second 14 years old staring down the barrel of an assault rifle and wondering if your next breath will be your last. See, that's when I was in middle school, when I was in high school, my father my dad was killed in a plane crash. Just like that. I'd never see my dad again. And know this, my dad and my mom had like as close to a perfect relationship as possible. They never even had a single fight. They were madly in love and just like that. My mom would never see my dad again either. That my mom would never see my dad again either.
Speaker 2:Before he died, one of the neighbors came up to him and said I just want to make sure you understand something. I want to make sure you know this those three boys of yours, your three boys not a single one of them will ever grow up to be anything. Let me repeat that Not a single one of your boys will ever grow up to be anything. Let me repeat that Not a single one of your boys will ever grow up to be anything. Can you imagine that? I mean, there we were doing the best we could with what we had, but that was our expectation Never grow up to be anything. So we could easily use that as our excuse. Why even try? You know we're not supposed to grow up to be anything. Nobody would blame us. Yeah, they had a really rough childhood. It was really tough and all of that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:But here's the deal. I believe the bolt that holds most people back from their hopes and dreams than any of the others is probably this one. Excuses, that's right. I believe this is the worst one of all, the most powerful of all. And why is that? Because we give them their power. We actually believe the excuses that we give are true. We think that circumstances really did get in the way of us achieving our goal. We really believe that we didn't have the time. Excuses are masters Listen, this is important. Excuses are masters at making us believe that something that just isn't true really is.
Speaker 2:You know what the CIA calls that Brainwashing. That's right, brainwashing. We believe something is true that really isn't. We actually believe that people or circumstances can keep us from achieving our goals and dreams.
Speaker 2:I just couldn't get to making that call today. Yeah, you could. You avoided it and you chose to do other things instead, like check email or floss your cat. I don't know, but the economy turned bad. There's nothing I can do about that. My kid got sick, my car wouldn't start, the list goes on and on.
Speaker 2:Can you relate to any of this Brainwashing? They don't really have power over us. We can always figure out a way around them. These things can't hold us back unless we let them. And if you're sitting there thinking, well, yeah, sometimes things do get in the way, then guess what? You've been brainwashed too. You know, I joke about it. But the serious truth is, until you reverse that thinking, you're never going to reach your goals and dreams because things will continue to get in the way. Is that right? It's true, things will keep getting in the way if we let them.
Speaker 2:Because get this, this is important. Success doesn't care what your excuse is, isn't that right? Success doesn't care what your excuse is. Let me say that again, and, if you're able to, I want you to write this down. Success doesn't care what your excuse is. The bottom line is the bottom line. Did you get the job done? And I want you to write this one down as well. This is important. This is important. There are two things results or excuses. Don't fool yourself. If it's not a result, it's merely an excuse. I'll say it again there are two things results or excuses. Don't fool yourself. If it's not a result, it's merely an excuse.
Speaker 2:Now, I know that this is a bit of tough love, but that's why you're listening to this series, right? You don't want me to go? Well, it's all right. You don't want to feel bad? Just dream about unicorns and bunnies and it'll be okay. No, you want me to tell you the truth. You want me to help you achieve your goals. You've tried before and it may not have worked out the way you wanted it to, and you want to know why. And, more importantly, you want to do something about it. Right?
Speaker 2:This really hit me hard as I built my direct sales business, because I kept setting goals and not reaching them. I'd attend some seminar and I'd get really pumped up. I was really going to do great things and before I knew it, I found myself right back where I was missing yet another goal. So I decided to try something different. First step I want people to help me stick to my goals. So I would get on a conference call at 6 am every morning with three other people and we would tell what our goals for the day were and how we did on our goals yesterday.
Speaker 2:See, I believe it's very helpful having someone keep you accountable, and that's what this was supposed to be, except it wasn't. It wasn't an accountability call like it's supposed to be. It was more like an excuse support group. That's right, an excuse support group. Hello, my name is Terry and I'm an excuse-aholic. Hi, terry. But you see, an excuse support group isn't what I wanted. I wanted people to tell me when I was lying to myself, making excuses to help keep me on track. I mean, I had the best excuse in the world. Okay, see, I started my business when I was still a captain in the United States Air Force. I started my business when I was still a captain in the United States Air Force. In fact, I was the executive officer for an entire group of nuclear B-52 bombers.
Speaker 2:Now, that was a seriously intense job. I didn't have time to eat. I didn't have time to sleep. Look, I didn't have time to pee. Okay, in fact, in the top middle desk drawer of any XO you will absolutely find a very large bottle of aspirin and a bottle of Milanta. No spoon, there's no time to measure. You just take a swig when the stress was eating away at your stomach lining, and you keep moving quickly. That's the way my life was. But if I was going to build my clientele, it would be on a few minutes a day.
Speaker 2:Now I realized that wasn't the best way to do it. It's not the prime way to do it, but at least I could get started and to leverage my time I used videos that the company produced. I would say that I set a goal of handing out three videos a day, but that's not entirely accurate, see. I viewed a goal as something you try to do, and that wasn't good enough. I needed to set something I would absolutely do, no matter what. So I didn't set a goal. I didn't call it a goal, I called it an absolute. My absolute was to absolutely hand out three videos every single day, no more, no less, no matter what. And that's exactly what I told my excuse support group. Today, my absolute is to hand out three videos to three brand new prospects. But here's the problem, see.
Speaker 2:There was times when it would be 10 o'clock at night and I would be so tired that I was falling asleep at my desk. I would get up to leave and get a few hours sleep before I started all over again the next day. So I'd stand up, getting ready to leave my desk. I'd look down at my bag and see my worst nightmare there was still a video left. So the brainwashing would set in. Okay, get this. So the brainwashing would set in. Okay, get this.
Speaker 2:I could easily make valid excuses if there were such a thing. Hey, most days I place three with my schedule. If I missed every once in a while, people would certainly understand right? No, that's brainwashing. The problem is, it doesn't matter what people think. It doesn't matter if they buy off on my excuses, my lies, right. It matters whether or not I reach my excuses, my lies right. It matters whether or not I reach my goals. If I stick to my plan, people, especially those close to you, will empathize with you and often support your decisions, even if they're not the best decisions for the long run. And you know why Because they're brainwashed too. They're excuse-aholics. Most people are, or everyone would reach their goals. So another option would be okay, I'll make up for it tomorrow. Instead of placing three videos tomorrow, I'll place four. That would still average out three per day.
Speaker 2:No, that's not the plan. If I slack today, I'll be more likely to slack tomorrow. Some other excuse will get in the way and then two videos will be the norm and then one, and before I know it, I've decided that I'm just too busy to start a business at this time. I'll wait until the timing is better and I quit. And then I go from brainwashed to brain dead, from excuse-a-holic to yet another casualty on the road to success.
Speaker 2:So, no matter what time it was or how tired I was or what excuses I could come up with, I would get on the phone or go around in person until I found someone to give that last video to. I stuck to my plan no matter what. So when I got on the phone each and every morning with my excuse support group, I would announce that I had reached my absolutes. I ended up building teams around the globe and making a lot of money. Very, very blessed Get this.
Speaker 2:The other three people on the phone believed their excuses and were validated by the others on the phone who believed theirs too. Do you know who they are? No, now, neither does the rest of the world. I mean, they're wonderful people, they're dear people, absolutely, but they're still excuse-a-holics. Now I've heard all sorts of excuses from people on why they can't be successful. One of my favorites was well, I just don't have the money for that. And then they would go buy their expensive coffee or cigarettes. If you don't have the money it takes for your goal, then don't use that as an excuse. Figure out how to earn and save money. Remember, there's always a way. It merely becomes our job to find that way.
Speaker 2:On a 50-mile backpacking trip deep into the Eagle Cap Wilderness area of Washington State, one of our party became severely dehydrated A 17-year-old boy by the name of Davis. As a result of the extreme dehydration, his nasal passages began cracking and blood flowed from his nose. And we were scheduled to summit Eagle Cap Mountain the next day. But we knew that we'd have to leave Davis behind at the base camp, along with the others who were too infirmed or injured to make the final thrust to the peak, that night things got worse for Davis Because he swallowed so much of his own blood he began throwing up blood. In fact, he was throwing up blood all night long. His tent looked like a mass murder scene. There was blood all over in his tent, blood on his sleeping bag, on his clothes, everywhere. It was gnarly. Now, of course, he slept very little that night. Next morning he looked like he'd gotten in a fight with a bear, with his sunken eyes, pale skin, blood all over his face. But we noticed something about Davis that morning there was a spark in those sunken eyes. Granted, it was a dim spark, but it was a spark nonetheless.
Speaker 2:Then we noticed something else as we were putting our gear together to make the final push up the mountain. So was Davis. What are you doing? I asked him. I'm getting ready to summit. He replied, just like matter of fact. Are you crazy? You're barely able to stand up. There's no way in the world you're going to make it to the top. I was making his excuses for him. I was that guy. But he looked me square in the eyes and he said look, for the rest of my life I'm going to look back at this moment. Will I look back at it as the time I quit or the time that I kept going, no matter what, I have to try. Wow, I was blown away, and if Davis was going to do it, I was going to be there with him.
Speaker 2:So Davis and I walked side by side up that mountain. I mean, a turtle could have passed us without even breaking a sweat. I'm serious. But we kept pushing forward. Several times we had to stop, but every time he kept going. The other hikers passed us, made it to the top relatively quickly. Davis didn't care. He realized the competition wasn't with them but was with himself. The altitude was growing higher and the air was thinning, making even breathing a chore. We couldn't see the top from where we were. We couldn't see if we were close or still a long ways away. We could only see the path directly ahead of us, step by painful step.
Speaker 2:Davis had every excuse in the world not to summit that day. No one would have faulted him for not trying, for staying back. Those of us who had his best interest in mind tried to talk him out of it. And if he hadn't tried, he would have been completely justified and he wouldn't have reached the top. He would have stayed in his tent talking about why he wasn't able to do it, with everyone around him agreeing Yep, it was a good thing you didn't try.
Speaker 2:It would have been impossible. You did the right thing. Wow. Does this ring true to anything else? You've heard Any other conversations you've had? See, the thing was it wasn't impossible, it was hard. But hard means that it's possible. I want to say that again Hard means that it's possible. So if you or someone else says, but it's hard, I want you to change that statement right now in your head. If hard equals possible, then it's hard means, but it's possible. That right there is a huge mind shift that can make the difference from you quitting or succeeding, from giving up or getting on, from whining to winning.
Speaker 2:See, no matter what David's excuse was, no matter what his reason was for not attempting the summit that day, the bottom line was he wouldn't have summited Eagle Cap. He would have never known the view from the top. But the fact is, davis did summit his mountain that day. There may be no better feeling in the world than knowing that you faced terrible obstacles, you endured terrible pain, but you kept going, no matter what, and reached your goal, reached your own pinnacle. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that unsuccessful people see circumstances having control over them and successful people see themselves having control over their circumstances. Unsuccessful people believe that the universe has complete power over them and they can't change it. They make excuses. Successful people realize they create their own world by the actions they take or do not take every day.
Speaker 2:1973 saw the stock market crashing in the US and abroad. The oil crisis hit, followed by the steel crisis and abroad the oil crisis hit, followed by the steel crisis. 1974 saw the largest drop in durable goods in a generation. In 1975, unemployment was through the roof. Obviously, it just wasn't the right time to start a business. But that's not true. That's a lie disguised as the truth. That's brainwashing. The best time to start a business, or do anything else for that matter, is right now. The worst time is when the timing is better. During that time, he started Microsoft and became one of the richest men in the world.
Speaker 2:And let's take that a step further. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has donated millions and millions of dollars to extremely worthwhile charities around the world and changed the lives of countless people. What would have happened if Bill made the excuse oh, the economy isn't bad right now. People aren't spending money that they don't have. It's the worst time possible to start a new business, especially starting an entire new industry to convince people to buy something they've never needed before. He may never have changed the world as we know it, and all those people that he's helped would never have been helped. But they were, because Bill chose not to make excuses and to take action. So again, there's two things results or excuses. Don't fool yourself If it's not a result, it's merely an excuse. Here's one final illustration for you.
Speaker 2:Two men set off on a foot race. In a short time they came across a huge boulder that had fallen across the path. Well, how in the world are we supposed to run a race when there's a boulder in the way? One man complained how could we get hurt trying to get over that thing? We could sprain an ankle, and then where would we be. That's terrible. Someone should do something about this. It's just not fair. And he turned around and went home voicing his disapproval to anyone who would listen these days. Put it on Facebook, right. The other man kept his eye on the finish line, climbing over the boulder and won.
Speaker 2:Now it sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? And yet that's the way people act all the time, isn't it? They focus on the excuses and give those excuses power. They can't see past the boulder to the finish line. And if you listen to the recording about overcoming fear, you remember how we talked about not focusing on your fear, but focusing past your fear to the goal, because if you focus on the fear, it gives it more power. A martial artist breaking a board doesn't focus on the board. He focuses past the board to where he wants his hand to end up. And it's exactly the same concept with excuses. If you focus on the excuse, it becomes more real, it becomes more clear, more powerful. If Richard Branson had focused on the fact that he was dyslexic, he never would have become as successful as he did. Nor would Steve Jobs or Winston Churchill or Albert Einstein, steven Spielberg, so many more. They focused past their challenge at their goal. They focused on the solution instead of the problem.
Speaker 2:Now I'm going to give you my top 10 excuse list. This is just something I have fun with. This is the top 10 ways we try to blame our troubles on something else or someone else and what to do about it. Again, just a fun thing, okay. And as I'm saying them, I want to see if you've seen or heard any of these used before, maybe even by yourself. Okay, drum roll, please. Here we go, number 10 on our list how do we blame our troubles on something or someone else? Number 10, they ruined my life. Have you heard that one before? Here's the truth. No one can ruin your life but yourself. That's right. No one can ruin your life but yourself. They can only try, but only you can let them. What's the solution? Don't let them. How Get back to work. You're going to see that as a recurring theme here.
Speaker 2:Now number nine, on the ways we try to blame our troubles on something or someone else. I have the worst luck. Have you heard that one before? Other versions of this are well knowing my luck or with my luck, and then they say something bad they expect to happen. Here's the harsh truth, which is what you want from me, right? I've learned that the best luck comes to those who get up off their butts, stop looking at their failures and start looking at their successes. Then they realize that their luck is actually really really good. Think about it. What are some of the things you succeeded at? A relationship, raising a family, doing something good at work or at home? Odds are really really high that you've had more successes than failures. So focus on those and realize that you truly have the best luck and get back to work.
Speaker 2:Number eight, on our countdown. Well, things just didn't work out. No, no, no, no, no. It's not that things didn't work out, it's you gave up before they could. You forgot my phrase. There's always a way. It merely becomes our job to find that way. Instead of looking for solutions, you looked at the problem. So refocus and guess what I'm about to say. Guess what it is. That's right. Get back to work. Number seven on our top 10 countdowns of ways. We try to blame our troubles on something or someone else and oldie but a goodie, the timing was bad. The timing was bad. Listen. Like we talked about the timing's never perfect. Something will always try to get in the way and thwart your success. The perfect time to start anything is right now. So do it. Get back to work.
Speaker 2:Number six on our countdown I'm not as good as other people. Listen, I actually fall into this one myself. I look at some of these amazing gurus out there and think there's no way I can be as good as them. It's true, but guess what? I'm as good as me. And let's face it, you're listening to my top 10 list, so maybe I'm not that bad. After all, I got to stop focusing on that. Listen, you don't have to be the best, you only have to be your best. Please keep that in mind. You don't have to be the best, you only have to be your best. There's always people out there who can learn from you and people you can learn from. So, just like I'm doing, get over yourself and your insecurities and get back to work.
Speaker 2:Number five, one of my favorites I'm not blank enough. I'm not blank enough. Insert your own excuse in that blank. You know, it may be that I'm not old enough, or young enough, or smart enough, or savvy enough, or man. The excuses can go on and on and on. Right, well, guess what? There's always someone smarter or faster or better or whatever. Nearly every single person on the face of the earth believes that there's someone better out there. And guess what? Depending on the day or the circumstances, they're right, but they still succeed. And so can you Get over it? Get back to work. Number four is we're speeding these up a bit.
Speaker 2:You don't know where I came from, or you don't know me. You know what? You don't know where I came from. You're right. I don't know where you came from, guess what, I don't care. Sorry, you don't know where I came from. You're right, I don't know where you came from, guess what, I don't care. Sorry, but I don't care where you came from, I only care where you're going to. Don't dwell in the past. Focus on the future. Get back to work. Number three on our top 10 ways people try to blame their troubles on something or someone else. You don't have the same challenges I do, you're right. Challenges I do, you're right, maybe I don't, but I have challenges that you don't have. I just haven't shown you what they are. I've hidden them from you. That's right.
Speaker 2:I've hidden them from you. Just like everyone else, I put up a public face that makes you think everything is perfect. But you know what? I've challenges too, but I don't let them hold me back Guess what. But I don't let them hold me back Guess what? Many people have had far worse challenges than you and I and have done better, because they didn't let that be an excuse. Learn from them and get back to work.
Speaker 2:And now number two on your listening dial, listen to this one. This is a biggie. Number two is I just don't want to. I just don't want to Wow. I just don't want to. I just don't want to Wow, I just don't want to. Guess what. I can't help you. That's right. I can't help you.
Speaker 2:You have to want it for yourself. Keep that in mind with other people too. They have to want it for themselves, or there's nothing that I or anyone else can do for you or them. The fire has to come from within. I told you from the beginning that some of my love would be tough love, but sometimes that kick in the butt is exactly what we need to hear. So here it is. If your heels are dug in, that you just don't want to. All right going to be tough with you. Here it is. You know what. Just go ahead and wallow in that self-pity long enough. That's it. Go ahead when your need becomes strong enough to overcome your excuses. When your need becomes strong enough to overcome your excuses, look me up if you can find me, but for now, you guessed it. Get back to work.
Speaker 2:And finally, our chart topper, the number one spot on our list of ways we try to blame troubles on something or someone else. Well, it's too late now. It's too late now, ball, if you're listening to this, it's not too late. The second you're done listening to this, maybe even before. Take your first step on your new journey and get back to work.
Speaker 2:I started acting in my 50s. That's way too late. Forget about it. There's no way in the world. And I got best supporting actor at the 2021 Christian Film Festival. I got on a survival reality show as the oldest person on the show, in my 50s, and won along with my partner. It is never too late. I'm doing this at age 58 years old Right now, recording this at age 58. I could be done, but you know what I'm not done. It's never too late. If you think it is, it's time to take that first step on your new journey and get back to work. So that's it.
Speaker 2:That's my top 10 list of ways we try to blame our troubles on something or someone else, and what to do about it. So have you heard any of those excuses before? Maybe even from your own lips. Well, now you recognize them for what they are. They're excuses, and you know that excuses are merely lies. We tell ourselves when we want to believe it's not our fault, but it really is Okay.
Speaker 2:So exercise time. I want you to do this. Pull out a pen or paper or digital device or whatever you use, but pull out something and I want you to write this down. Okay, here we go. What things did you let get in the way of you succeeding in the past? Let me say it again what things did you let get in the way of you succeeding in the past? Take some time, write them down. Good, turn this off if you need to, please.
Speaker 2:Okay, now you've identified the problem, onto the important part, the solution. What actions can you take to get around those problems? Truly, take some time to write down the solutions next to the problems so you can see them, so you can focus on them. You can focus on the solution instead of the problem. Take some time and do this. It's very important that you do Again. You don't want to just listen to this so you can go wow, this was a cool recording. You want to take actions that'll make a difference in your life, so I want you to do that. It's very important.
Speaker 2:All right, this has been the first step of getting over the brainwashing. Now we see excuses for what they truly are lies, we tell ourselves, by understanding that we've taken away the power they used to hold over us. We no longer believe that they're true, that they can actually hold us back from achieving our goals, achieving our hopes, achieving our dreams. We have the power to find out ways to achieve. Despite the excuses, we can find the workaround. Our new mantra is there's always a way. It merely becomes our job to find that way. Let me say that again there's always a way. The solution exists, it's out there. So now that I know that it merely becomes my job to find that way, we'll no longer be excuse-aholics. We'll look past the obstacles to our goal and, just like the story of Admiral Farragut before, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. You got this Congratulations, you now have the power to blow that bolt.
Speaker 1:So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback Chronicles. Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen, and subscribe to the show. If you're ready to get over your fears, self-doubts and past failures and break through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, head over to terrielfawesomecom to pick up your free gifts and so much more. We'll see you next week on the Comeback Chronicles podcast.