The Comeback Chronicles Podcast
Welcome to The Comeback Chronicles, where raw truth meets unwavering resilience. Hosted by Terry L. Fossum, this podcast reveals the untold stories of remarkable individuals who’ve faced crushing defeats—only to rise stronger, wiser, and more determined.
Through candid interviews, you’ll hear about moments of failure, heartbreak, and doubt, as well as the transformational steps that led to victory. This isn’t just about inspiration—it’s about equipping you with actionable strategies, like Terry’s signature ‘Oxcart Technique,’ to overcome challenges and ignite your own comeback story.
If you’re ready to break free from fear, shame, or self-doubt and move boldly into your conquer zone, The Comeback Chronicles will empower you with the tools, mindset, and motivation to rise above and achieve your next great success.
Get ready to turn your setbacks into stepping stones and reclaim the life you’re destined to lead.
The Comeback Chronicles Podcast
Bolt #7: Your Past Doesn't Define Your Future: Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs
Self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt can hold us back from reaching our full potential, but understanding how they form and learning strategies to overcome them can transform our lives and prospects for success.
• Self-doubt stems from being our own worst critic and knowing our shortcomings better than anyone else
• We often focus on past failures, trauma, or negative circumstances that make us feel inadequate
• Many wildly successful people faced extreme challenges: Sam Walton grew up poor during the Depression, Oprah Winfrey wore potato sack dresses and escaped abuse, JK Rowling battled depression
• Helen Keller, Albert Einstein, Tyler Perry, and Stephen King all overcame significant obstacles to achieve greatness
• The first step to overcoming self-doubt is seeing examples of others who succeeded despite similar challenges
• Focus on your good qualities by writing down all your positive attributes and reviewing them daily
• Surround yourself with people who value and believe in you, and distance yourself from those who don't
• Make it less about yourself and more about your cause or mission—Vincent van Gogh believed in his work even when no one else did
• "If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced"
Head over to terrielfawesome.com to pick up your free gifts and learn more about breaking through your comfort zones to reach success in every area of your life.
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past failures and you're ready to break through your comfort zones to finally reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, then this podcast is for you. Here's your host, Terry L Fossum.
Speaker 2:El Fasum. The next bowl we're going to talk about is actually the one that most people admit they suffer from Self-limiting beliefs, also known as self-doubts. We're going to examine how these happen, how they may have happened to you and how other wildly successful people had them but succeeded anyway, and arm you with a new belief system to allow you to do the same. Let's get started Now. This can be a difficult one because often it can come from such deep-seated emotions. Despite the front we put up for other people, we know who we really are. We know where we really came from. We know the bad things that have happened to us. We know the bad things we've done. We feel inadequate. Why should people listen to me? We tend to listen to the negative things people say about us more than the positive. We play scenarios from the worst times that we've had, time and time in our heads until it seems to fill our memories with mostly those occasions. We focus on our limitations instead of our strengths. We often don't feel that we're smart enough or educated enough or rich enough or good-looking enough or any other not enough that can creep into our minds. You may have heard of imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is when we may be successful at something, but we still feel like an imposter, like people are going to find us out that we're not as smart or as talented or as good as people see us, as we feel like we're a fraud. We're afraid of being revealed at any moment. Let me ask you can you relate to any of this? If you answered no, congratulations. Truly, you can skip this part of the recording, but if you could relate to any of this, then listen on. This is going to be very, very good for you.
Speaker 2:So let's start with. Why do most of us suffer from self-doubts? Well, to begin with, we are our own worst critic. Would you agree with that? Of course, we're our own worst critic. And why is that? Well, first of all, we know ourselves better than anyone. We can fool other people, but we can't fool ourselves. We know our own shortcomings and limitations. We see everyone else in their perfect social media world and know that our lives aren't as great as what we see there. We know we've screwed up in the past and we have a hard time forgiving ourselves. Maybe we feel we let others down. Maybe we've made decisions that let ourselves down. Maybe we're on a lower socioeconomic scale and confuse net worth with value, though they are two very different things. Maybe something in our past has triggered it. Maybe we grew up poor or an abusive home, or no home at all. Maybe bullying or racism, orism, or even something terrible like molestation or rape. Oftentimes, these things make us believe that that's all we are and that's all we'll ever be, and we certainly feel inadequate After all inadequate After all.
Speaker 2:Why should people listen to me? Who am I? I'm not rich enough. I'm not successful enough. I'm not one of the popular people. I'm not one of the beautiful people. I'm too young. I'm just not that interesting. People will just make fun of me. If I'm too successful, I'll lose my friends and family. There are a lot of people who are better than me at and family. There are a lot of people who are better than me at. Whatever it is, I'm only the person who came from these circumstances or that. This happened to. That's all I am. That's all I'll ever be. I understand completely.
Speaker 2:Remember, I grew up in the poorest city in the entire United States of America. I was bullied terribly at times. I was on the wrong end of an assault rifle in middle school in my own back alley. In high school, my father was killed and before he died, one of our neighbors came up to him and said I just want to make sure you understand something. Came up to him and said I just want to make sure you understand something. None of your kids will ever grow up to be anything. And there's other things too. Now, my story isn't the worst one out there by far, but it's the one I know the best because it's my story. So, for all of those listening who can relate, how do we move past this? How do we stop a wallowing in the past and start charging into the future? How do we keep our belief from limiting us by making us weaker and instead make us stronger? Well, the first step is seeing good examples of others who've done it, so we can internalize that it can be done. Here's some that have inspired me.
Speaker 2:During the Great Depression, a poor boy named Sam lived on a poor farm in the poor state of Oklahoma. He might have been poor, but he was scrappy. He wanted to contribute to the family finances, but what could he do? He was a young, poor boy living on a poor farm. What would he have that could be of value to anyone? Well, he didn't have much, that was for sure. But what did he have? What could he do? This poor boy looked around his parents' poor farm and saw the cow. He may not know anything about business, but he knew how to milk a cow. The problem was that most of the other families in farm country well, they had a cow as well. Okay, that was the problem. But what was the solution? Well, the people in town didn't have cows and they were buying their milk from someone. It might as well be him. And if he had enough customers, he figured he could afford to bring the milk into them. So that's what he did did. Well, this went pretty well. But he started thinking as long as I'm going around to all of these people delivering milk, what else could I bring him? Well, he didn't have anything else to sell. But someone else did. Wait a minute. When I deliver milk, I see that many of them get a newspaper. Someone delivers it to him. It might as well be me. So he started selling newspapers and making more money there as well. And you know what? If they read the newspaper, I bet they'd like to read some magazines too. I bet I could sell magazine subscriptions, and I wouldn't even have to deliver them. And that's how it started.
Speaker 2:Sure, sam was poor and had no business background, but he refused to let that limit him From there. He decided to learn more and he started putting together some money to do so. So he got a BA in economics from the University of Missouri and was quickly snatched up to manage a variety store. Was quickly snatched up to manage a variety store. After his time in the army, he moved to Arkansas, took $5,000 he'd saved up, added a $20,000 loan from his father-in-law and bought his very own store, a Ben Franklin store. After success there, sam Walton went on to be the founder of Sam's Club and Walmart, becoming a billionaire.
Speaker 2:No one, including yourself, can tell you that being poor or not having a business background can keep you from succeeding. Oprah Winfrey had more reason than most people on the face of the earth to have self-limiting beliefs. Listen to this. Oprah was born in 1954 in a little town in Mississippi. Both being a woman and being black in the South, oprah could have easily, easily limited herself. Let's add to that in her early childhood her wardrobe consisted of potato sacks fashioned into dresses made by the grandmother she lived with. You know she was looked down on grandmother she lived with. You know she was looked down on. She ran away from home at age 13 to escape being raped by her own family. Her resulting newborn died shortly after birth, and yet she became one of the biggest inspirations in the world today.
Speaker 2:Chris Gardner was also born in 1954, a black man in Milwaukee, wisconsin. He grew up in a home where his stepfather was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive to his mom in front of he and his siblings. He entered foster care the first time when his stepfather turned his mother in for welfare fraud and the second time when he's convicted of trying to kill his stepfather. You probably watched the movie about his success the Pursuit of Happiness. Jk Rowling has been diagnosed with clinical depression and contemplated suicide several times. With the Harry Potter whirlwind she's now a billionaire, so obviously depression or anxiety issues don't have to hold you back either.
Speaker 2:The list goes on and on. Helen Keller was blind, deaf and mute, yet she became an American author, political activist and lecturer who continues to inspire us long after she's passed away. Albert Einstein didn't learn to speak until he was three. In school he was terrible at writing and mathematics. Tyler Perry had an abusive father and was sexually abused by four different men as a little boy. Eventually he wrote and launched a play which bombed terribly. He tried to launch it again Same result. So he tried again and again, and again, and again and again, living in his car. After failing dismally six times, you would think his own self-limiting beliefs would hold him back, but they didn't. Stephen King is only successful because his wife pulled his book out of the trash can where Stephen himself had thrown it in disgust after it had been rejected 30 times. He's now sold over 350 million books.
Speaker 2:Hang around people who believe in you, sometimes even more than you believe in yourself. What I'm trying to tell you is if you're having self-doubts, you're not alone. In fact, you're in very good company. There have been others who have had the same challenges you have had, that came from the same background as you, who had the same things happen to them as you, who had the same self-limiting beliefs that you have, but they were able to break free from those chains that try to hold them back and succeed anyway.
Speaker 2:So the first step in keeping our beliefs from limiting us and instead make us stronger is seeing good examples of others who have done it, so we can internalize. It can be done. I think you'll agree We've done that. If they can do it, you can do it too. So now the second step focus on your good aspects. It's easy for us all to focus on the bad, but what we need to do is focus on our good points. In fact, one of your action items after you're done listening to this chapter is to write down a list of all your good attributes and post it where you can see it.
Speaker 2:Listen, I want you to do this Again. You're not listening to this just to go wow, that was really nice, and not get anything out of it. But, just like everything else in life, if you're going to get anything out of it, you have to put in the work. See, those self-limiting beliefs are always in the back of your mind. You need to counter them with your new focus, your new truths.
Speaker 2:Are you a kind person? Are you thoughtful? That's an amazing attribute. Are you honest? In my book, these are some of the most important attributes that a person can have. Are you a hard worker? Do you have street smarts? Do you make people feel good about themselves? If you're having trouble coming up with things, ask yourself what would my closest friends say, if you're still having trouble, ask them. No, truly, do this. You need to do this. Hey, I'm doing a project where I'm required to write down my positive attributes, but I'm having trouble doing it. What would you say? My positive attributes are what do you like about me? And, honestly, if they can't come up with any, fire them, as your friends no, seriously do. And that leads us to step three Hang around with people who value you and don't hang around with people who don't.
Speaker 2:You may recognize this from the recording on attitude, because it's so important. If you're around people who put you down, you begin or continue to believe them. And all too often, we find ourselves around the very type of people who caused those self-limiting beliefs in us to begin with. How many times have we heard stories of the abused wife or husband who ends up with another abuser? Or the addict who ends up hanging around other addicts again? Or the unsuccessful person who hangs around with more unsuccessful people? And why? Because we believe that's who we are and what we deserve.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm here to tell you you are who you decide to be. Let me say that again you are who you decide to be. If you've been untrustworthy in the past, then dang it, stop lying, change who you are and the change in beliefs will follow. If you've allowed yourself to be bullied, then stop allowing that behavior. Stand up for yourself and leave anyone behind who won't stop Again. You will become like your six closest friends and your beliefs will follow it. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and you will begin to believe in yourself. Hang out with dynamic people and you will become more dynamic, more active, more successful, etc. Et cetera. And slowly those old beliefs will be replaced by new ones.
Speaker 2:Things like I used to be lazy, but I'm not anymore. Maybe I was poor, but that's not what I'm going to be anymore. Maybe I did used to let others down, but that's not who I am anymore, because I choose to be the person I'm going to become. Maybe I've failed and failed in the past, but I'm better armed now. I realize that those failures are the stepping stones on the path to success and ready to forge forward, to finally make it all come true. Sound too good to be true? It's not Many. Many, many people came from challenging circumstances and had much more holding them back than you have, and they made it happen anyway. You can too. And now the fourth step, and perhaps the most powerful of all.
Speaker 2:Did you know that Vincent van Gogh was a complete and total failure as a painter? He sold less than a handful of paintings in his entire lifetime. Can you believe that Vincent van Gogh sold less than a handful of paintings in his entire lifetime? Can you imagine, man, he must have felt like a complete failure. But here's the interesting thing. This was fascinating to me. He may not have believed in himself, but he believed in his work, and even though no one else in the entire world believed in it, he kept painting and kept painting, because it's not what other people think, it's about what you think. It's not about what other people think, it's about what you think. It's not about what other people tell you, it's about what you tell yourself. Now, every single one of Van Gogh's paintings that were looked down on as worthless are priceless, and so are you, and so are your ideas If you act on them.
Speaker 2:He may have said it best of all when he said if you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. Listen, if you hear a voice in your head that says sing, then sing. If it says to dance, then dance. If it says to start a business, then start a business. If it says to sell a product or service you believe in, share it. If it says to write a book, then by all means write a book, because when you do it, when you actually do it, the voice that says you can't will be silenced. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Listen, and this is important to hear Everyone suffers from self-doubts at one time or another.
Speaker 2:Everyone, including me. I've always said I'll be completely honest with you. So here I go. As I'm recording this, I'm having huge self-doubts. Why would anyone listen to me? I know me. I grew up with me. I know where I came from. I know that I was never supposed to grow up to be anything. So you have to ask yourself if I'm having that much self-doubt, then why am I doing this? Why am I pressing on? Get ready, this is going to be huge. I mean this. This is going to be huge because I believe in the message. It's not about me, it's not about my background or anything about me. It's about the message. Believe it or not. It's not even about whether this sells or not. It's about the message. You see, I believe with all of my heart that the message contained in these recordings is extremely important. I believe it can help people. I believe there are people out there that need to hear what I'm saying to help them blow the bolts that have been holding them back. I strongly believe that there's millions of people out there that could have a better, more fulfilled life if they heard and acted on my message. Will they listen to it? There's only so much I can do to make that happen, but I have to try because I believe in the message.
Speaker 2:So what's the fourth and final step that gets me past my own self-doubt, my complete belief in my cause, and what will help you get over your own self-doubt, your belief in your cause? If you're focused on your cause, it's no longer who would listen to me, but rather people need to hear about this. It's not well, they may not like the way I sing, but rather I want to touch people with my song. It's not I don't have the best past. It's about I do have the best future. I may not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but this idea it's a good one. It's that bulb that's growing brightly. It goes from I don't know anything about business to I have something that can help people. It's not about you, it's about your cause. You know what. Not to be mean, but get over yourself. Make it less about you and more about what you want to accomplish. Maybe you don't feel you're good enough, but what you want to accomplish is.
Speaker 2:I talked in an earlier recording about Abraham Lincoln. He entered the war as a captain and was demoted to a mere private. He failed at business and went bankrupt More than once. He failed at politics several times. He may have had self-doubts about himself, but he had a cause he believed greatly in, and his belief in that cause outweighed his lack of belief in himself. So he pushed on and, thank God, he did. He literally changed the world. Why? Because he believed in his cause.
Speaker 2:So let's bring this home for you what is it that you want to accomplish? Is it worth doing Truly? What is it you want to accomplish? Is it worth doing? What is it? Think about it for a second. Is it worth working for Whatever it is? Do you believe in it? Do you believe in your cause?
Speaker 2:If you have a business, is that a cause? Well, it is, if you think about it correctly. What difference will doubling that business make in people's lives in your customers' lives, in your employees' lives, your own family's lives? If you double your sales, what difference will it make in someone's world If you have a cause you're working toward? Do you believe in that cause strongly enough to get out of your own way, to focus on the cause and change some people's lives?
Speaker 2:If you want to have a successful relationship, do better in a career or whatever it is, is it important enough to leave your baggage in the past where it belongs, so it doesn't weigh you down any longer?
Speaker 2:Is it important enough to go?
Speaker 2:You know what? It's not about me. It's not about those things that happened in my past and the way they made me feel. It's about a future where this David beats the Goliaths of the world, where it may seem like I have a lot that could hold me back, but I have a lot more pushing me forward. There are people who had a lot more going against them than I have and they made it happen anyway. I'm going to stop focusing on my past weaknesses and focus on my strengths. If people try to pull me down, I will leave them behind in my dust and be around people who believe in me and believe in my mission, and I'll focus on that mission because, whether or not I believe in myself, I believe in my mission, I believe in my cause and because of that belief I will find the strength to make it happen.
Speaker 2:So, in conclusion, I understand completely that you have self-limiting beliefs that have held you back in the past. I have too, and a lot of other people in the world have too People who are able to get past them and make a difference in the world. You're not alone, and the history books are full of role models who have proven to us that can be done. Next, you have an amazing amount of goodness about you. Write those positive attributes down and read them at least once a day to help replace those old beliefs with the new ones. And if there's anyone or anything in your life right now that's keeping those old, negative beliefs going, you have to get rid of them and surround yourself with people who appreciate you, who believe in you and who support you. And finally, focus on the cause. Focus on why what you want to accomplish is important and can help people, and damn the torpedoes full speed ahead. For God's sake, sing. It's time to blow that bolt forever.
Speaker 1:So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback Chronicles. Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen, and subscribe to the show. If you're ready to get over your fears, self-doubts and past failures and break through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, head over to terrielfawesomecom to pick up your free gifts and so much more. We'll see you next week on the Comeback Chronicles Podcast.